Inside my head.........

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-01-02T22:17:00.001+10:30

2010 is here. Alas, it is time to say cheers to another year of-more often than not-unfulfilled resolutions (eg: better grades, get a job, eat more vegetables, etc.). But resolutions and trivial pursuits aside, I cannot help but wonder at the start of each new year just how amazing it is that life is still being lived, that mankind is still surviving, and civilization just got another year older. The fact that our earth has just completed a full orbit around the sun safe and sound is already astounding to say the least, and that our planet has been doing so for the past 65 million years since the end of the dinosaurs is nothing short of a miracle.

Before we start filling those glasses with tequila to celebrate the new year by waking up on the toilet covered in vomit and other questionable bodily fluids, I think it would be worth the time to reflect and appreciate the astronomical factors and probabilities of how we're still here and why we need a planetary call for celebration every time a new year arrives.

There is 1 chance in 140 trillion that the Earth should exist.
There is 1 chance in 795 billion that life should have evolved on earth.

There is 1 chance in 89 billion that life should have evolved into mankind.
There is 1 chance 12 billion that mankind should have created the alphabet and thus civilization.
There is 1 chance in 6 billion that our parents should ever have met and got together.
There is 1 chance in 90 million that we should have been the lucky sperm that fertilized your mother's egg.
Overall we're pretty lucky to be here.

(source: Carey, B., Delehag, H., (2009), 'This Book Will Change Your Life', pp.96)

But anyway, what is the start of the new year without resolutions right? Below are my resolutions for 2010:

Get better grades

Eat more fruits

Grow more hair on my axilla, thus making it look more manly than the hairless and sissy looking monstrosity it is now

Purchase a slave

Get the Pope and the Dalai Lama drunk (they apparently wore the costumes above 'sober')

Frankly I think I have a higher chance with the last one compared to the rest. But anyway, have fun, love life, and enjoy 2010 to the fullest. Happy New Year people!

MY LECTURER THE RAPPER

2009-11-06T07:29:00.000+10:30

I just had a WTF moment listening to my Mangement Accounting lecture online. My lecturer had a sudden outburst of some hidden "KANYE POWER" in him he just had to release when trying to explain the difference between zero base and program budgeting. Listen to seconds 0:25 to 0:31...

"Very time consuming, very resource intensive, can cause severe.....urm....conflict within organisations. As I said a lot of times these organisations are committed. An alternative method of budgeting that is sometimes used is or HKHGKGHKHK fairly popular at the moment, following the fashion of the moment, is called Program Budgeting, so when I come back and do this lecture in about 3 years SDBGJSDJHBGB ZERO SDBDJBKSJGBJDBL BUDGETING SDFHSKDBNLL ZERO BASE BUDGETING FGKLJFDGNG @*(#%^*(@#%^*#^*@#^#&(^&@#^&#%^&@#%#@ ???!!!!"

My face was like this after listening to that...

Then I went like...

Then I laughed uncontrollably...

Then for some reason I had an erection and felt a bit shy that people would notice...

Then I thought about how Anwar looks like Scar from The Lion King...

Then I realized I should probably go back to studying.

ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?

2009-10-21T10:27:00.015+10:30

Why is it that people (especially Malaysians) just love stating the obvious? Like how it is when you see a friend, whose hair has surprisingly become shorter since the last time you met, and you go..."wah cut hair ah?"...it's amazing how at times like these we feel a sudden concern and need to make sure our beloved friend has in fact cut his hair, and not acquired the unnatural ability to grow his hair shorter instead.

So I was thinking, what if everyone else in the world could think and speak like Malaysians?

So why do we love stating the obvious really? Conversation starter? Quick ice breaker? Maybe there's that 0.001% chance the other guy really has no clue and we feel it ethically obliging to inform him? Whatever it is, it just makes certain quirky aspects of human behaviour all that more fascinating to observe.

MOON UNDER TERRORIST SIEGE

2009-10-14T20:47:00.022+10:30

I kid, I kid. As many of you all may already know, just about 4 days ago, 2 spacecrafts were smashed into the moon. Although it's tempting to assume Al-Qaeda has declared holy war on the moon (you know, seeing that it does not abide by sharia laws, as it is...you know...a moon), the 2 spacecrafts were actually unmanned and part of NASA's LCROSS mission in an attempt to uncover the presence of water-ice on the surface.

I know what you're thinking, if you're at all like me you'd want to know when and how soon it is we'll be able to start drinking mineral water from the moon. HOW COOL IS THAT?! Well apparently not-so-cool according to NASA, because that is not at all what they had planned for this mission. But then why spend $79mil if not to consume 'moon-water'?

Well apparently, the main objectives of the mission are (taken directly from NASA's website):

1) Confirm the presence or absence of water ice in a permanently shadowed region on the moon.
2) Identify the cause of the hydrogen signatures detected at the lunar poles.
3) Determine the amount of water, if present, in the lunar regolith or soil.
4) Determine the composition of the regolith in one of the moon's permanently shadowed crater.

(PS: Regolith??? what the??? cool name for a Pokemon though, should GameFreak run out of ideas...)

So no new competitors against Spritzer or Evian? No chance humans are going to piss MOON-WATER in the future? Ugh. BORING. But anyway, in all seriousness, this opens new doors for space exploration in the sense that explorations on the moon can go on for longer periods of time now, seeing as the need to transport water from earth to the moon does not have to be a burden anymore. It will also give a better idea of how planets were formed. Sigh. No moon-water for me to drink then.

(Earth. 40,075.16km circumference. One Moon.)

(Record holder Sheyla Hershey. 38 KKK. Two Moons.)

Well anyway, here is MY reenactment on the LCROSS mission, with what I think closely resembles the moon (ie: rocky, round-shaped, hard, daft) :

BACK LIKE BRITNEY

2009-10-12T19:28:00.019+10:30

Britney's back biatch. And no, despite what the title suggests, I did not spend the past year away from Sproogidiboo flashing my nether regions while getting out of a car, nor did I impulsively shave my head bald. It was after all the usual stuff -random documentaries/readings, countless encounters/conversations with uncanny people, oh and "studying"- that I realized I had accumulated too much 'haphazard' knowledge I need to share with what's left of my readers out there before I spontaneously combust from the pressure of keeping too much of these things to myself. So for you 1.618 readers of Sproogidiboo still out there, I make my return...FOR YOU.

SO it should not be a coincidence then, that my very first post of 2009, revolves around the topic of "Coincidence", which is an eleven letter word, same as the number from adding 2+0+0+9 together. Okay that was a rather foolish attempt to spook you, sorry. Before I begin, I think it would interest you to read the following (taken entirely from listverse.com):

"A German mother who photographed her infant son in 1914 left the film to be developed at a store in Strasbourg. In those days some film plates were sold individually. World War I broke out and unable to return to Strasbourg, the woman gave up the picture for lost. Two years later she bought a film plate in Frankfurt, over 100 miles away, to take a picture of her newborn daughter. When developed the film turned out to be a double exposure, with the picture of her daughter superimposed on the earlier picture of her son. Through some incredible twist of fate, her original film, never developed, had been mislabeled as unused, and had eventually been resold to her".

"The twin brothers, Jim Lewis and Jim Springer, were separated at birth, adopted by different families. Unknown to each other, both families named the boys James. Both James grew up not knowing of the other, yet both sought law-enforcement training, both had abilities in mechanical drawing and carpentry, and each had married women named Linda. Both had sons, one of whom was named James Alan and the other named James Allan. The twin brothers also divorced their wives and married other women – both named Betty. And they both owned dogs which they named Toy" (for further reading, head to the link on people.com).

Note: A huge part of what is written below draws inspiration from Richard Wiseman's book "Quirkology", a book I believe is a 'must-have' for anyone interested in or studying psychology.

Although many people would love to attribute these events and others alike to something superstitious or "divine", there have thankfully been a bunch of people (who actually use their brains) to analyse situations such as these a little further. It basically comes down to the law of large numbers. Every week, someone wins the lottery jackpot, with the insane odds of about fifteen million to one. I know it is tempting for most Malaysian Chinese housewives to believe that all of the winners are advocates of Lilian Too, I am not a housewife, so I believe it is simply because a huge number of people buy lottery tickets, therefore covering most of the 15mil-1 odds, and occasionally, someone DOES win. Relating this to seemingly impossible events like the two stories above, is it surprising then that a genuinely unlikely event occurs when there are millions of people around the world living complex lives, in different situations and under different circumstances?

Maybe this is why sometimes certain songs or sentences can coincidentally contain hidden messages, like how the letters in the words 'US President Ronald Reagan' can be rearranged to make the words 'repulsed and ignorant arse', or how some people believe certain songs playing backwards contain messages that praise Satan (granted, maybe a few them actually are true, but I definitely believe some of them were either just coincidental, or incidences of apophenia, selection bias and confirmation bias).

My point is this, maybe sometimes simple science or maths can explain events that seem impossible, but not improbable.Or maybe certain things 'divine' and astrological are used to explain undiscovered scientific truths of today, just like how ancient civilizations of the Aztecs thought eclipses of the sun were a sign that some non-existent powerful being in the 'heavens' was pissed of because he wasn't getting any. Whatever you want to believe is entirely up to you, but I certainly hope reading all this has brought something new to your perspective.

To put it in the brilliant words of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, believing in astrology tells me that "you believe the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality".

Oh, and again, before I forget, Sproogidiboo is back, biatch...bow chika wow wow...

JASON MRAZ LIVE AT THE PRINCE OF WALES BANDROOM, MELBOURNE - 2008

2008-08-15T13:33:00.006+09:30

13th August 2008, shall be remembered as the day I witnessed one of the best entertainers ever perform right in front of me. Trust me, you have no idea how good an artist he is until you've seen him live, one of those rare artists that sounds as good as they are, if not better, on stage than on the CD. His frequent hilarious and spontaneous bursts into songs about his surroundings and the crowd kept everyone entertained throughout the entire 2 HOURS he stood there performing. His humour, charisma, stage presence and musical ability will have you aching to throw your under garments at him in no time.

LUCKY-PERSON/FOOL # 1, yours truly, that went for the show

LUCKY-PERSON # 2, Stephanie Beh Sze Yee, that went for the show. Poor girl had to wake up the next morning at 5 am so she could catch the train going back to Clayton, which is like super far from the City, just so she could try and make it for her 8 am tutorial. It was good then that I was there to comfort and constantly remind her, that its okay because she's doing it for Jason Mraz, and he would do the same for her....well he must have definitely skipped lots of classes and tutorials right? Thats why he's making a living by performing for us now!...

.....plus SUPER-DUPER-EXTRA-LUCKY-PERSONS #3 and #4, Su Mei and Jia-Li, who by the way, got FREE tickets one and a half hours before the show started because NOT-SO-LUCKY-PERSON # 5 couldn't make it at the last minute.

Before I begin showing you guys the awesome pictures I took at the concert, please be appreciative and bear in mind that there was what I shall refer to as AYM (Australian Yao Ming) standing right in front of me the whole time, as shown in the picture above. Because of that, all of the pictures you see below were taken out of a great deal of effort to stretch my hands above the AYM. That picture was a Tat Ren's Eye View of the concert, by the way. Awesome.

Melanie Horsnell, the openning act. Reminds me of a mix of Dido and the lead singer of The Cranberries.

Yes that was how close I was to the stage. Awesome picture right? Or shall I say MRAZ-some??? Even with the AYM in front of me I still managed to get such a good picture. Toca lost quite a bit of weight I must say...

MRAZ-tastic.

MRAZ-nificent.

mRazda.

There were many more pictures taken of course, but I'm too lazy to post them all up here. I shall leave you all with a video of "The Dynamo of Volition" that I took, which is the only song I recorded fully. Steph took way more videos of other songs, but that's probably because she had no AYM standing in front of her.

A SLEEPING GIANT, YET TO BE AWAKEN......

2008-08-09T02:00:00.011+09:30

I am speechless. After watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics, I must say that some of the performances were simply phenomenal. I also have to say, that for the first time in my life...I AM PROUD TO BE A CHINESE. Okay Malaysian-Chinese actually, but my ancestors were from China!!! If they didn’t escape for what seemed to be greener pastures ( they were so wrong – if only we had this noodles called “ So Do Mee ”, then probably it would’ve been alright, ‘cause it would probably be the only Chinese dish the government just cannot get enough of ) in Malaysia, I might have been one of those cool guys banging on the drums or running on air to light the Olympic torch. Seriously, I think with the opening ceremony, they have almost made up for all the drugs they've put into children's food and toys......and our toothpaste.

I used to think that us Chinese possess the following qualities :

We tell mother nature to stop whining about her pollution problem. We're short, have small eyes, flat noses and there are a billion of us to look at. It's about time we took revenge.

Everything that moves is edible to us. Its no wonder nobody cares about how the panda became an endangered species. They came from China.

We do this to kids when they don't finish their homework.

No matter how hard we try, we will never look as cool with arrows as Orlando Bloom.

We just love coming up with scams and bogus inventions like this ' BABY MOP '.

...Well that was how I used to view us Chinese. After seeing the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics, I have a totally renewed perception of being a Chinese now. There are more than a billion of us. Of course we're going to have to find more things to eat in order to survive! And since we used to love producing babies so much in the 70's, why not throw in a little innovation in there and let them mop the house while they're moving about? So you see, there's a reason for everything we do!

On a more serious note though, here are some pretty amazing pictures of the opening ceremony taken from the Los Angeles Times website :

The synchronization, coordination and choreography kept me glued watching. Simply stunning to look at.

You think Orlando Bloom looks cool as Legolas shooting some lame ass arrows??? Pffffttt....we've got freakin' swords on OUR HEADS MAN (looks like it at least)....

We do what we do to little kids so they can do this.

What's that? I'll tell you what...It's a giant ball where random Olympic related clips are projected onto it that's holding 2 singers on top and freakin' people are freakin' walking on it OK...and its MADE IN CHINA...and bloody Harvey Dent thinks our guns don't work, we probably made Batman's suit you idiot...

The amazing fireworks display to end the night. Once again, we really don't give a crap about pollution and global warming do we. That's Al Gore's problem.

At no other Olympics ceremony have we seen a guy holding a torch, walking on an opening scroll in mid-air.

Even though he has no other superpowers....this guy is cool.

I need to issue a statement of apology to all my Chinese school friends whom I used to rip on. I may have called you guys "childhood-less people", "future communist leaders of tomorrow", "creatures with no soul", or "God's way of punishing fallen angels". I now officially take them all back and say I'm Sorry. We're all Chinese and we should be proud of our heritage.

- Leon Chew Jien Hoong, Spokesperson and Representative of the People's Republic of Chinese Primary Schools in Malaysia (PRCPSM)

- quote by famous Chinese philosopher, " I-Thing Ai Chong Ming "

Ok on an even more serious note though, really glad I didn't miss watching what was an amazing display of hard work and dedication finally paying off just for that one day when the world's gaze would be fixed on a country that has been through so much just to host this 2008 Olympics. Despite getting all the stereotypes from around the world about who we are and what we do as a Chinese race, we've proven that on the world stage we can perform well when we put our heart, mind and disciplined actions to it. There is obviously still a lot to be done and fixed in a country like China, no question about that. But just for that one day, they've shown that they are a force to be reckoned with whether now, or in the future. Even America didn't get to where it is today without first going through the Great Depression, the Ku Klux Klan phase, and other negative issues that have thankfully been dealt and over with. But just for that one day....that one day....through it's architectural feats, people, and countless other factors that led to a successful and certainly memorable start to the 2008 Olympics, despite all it has been through, China has shown that it is merely a sleeping giant, in its potential to be an economic powerhouse and a people that stands united when the need arises even with its internal issues. A sleeping giant, yet to be awaken...

WHO ARE YOU CALLING CHICKEN...

2008-06-26T20:41:00.008+09:30

So I was just laying in my bed...thinking...about thoughts...normal thoughts...normally thinking about normal thoughts...and then I wondered, since when did we start calling gutless and fearful people chicken? Why? Why is it that when you tell your friends you won't jump off the 2nd floor of your school building they all call you chicken? Who on earth a long time ago decided that a chicken would be the chosen animal to represent all that is scared and doubtful in this world? Who? Who? Who? Who? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Poor chickens! Why pick on the chickens? What did they ever do to us? Contrary to popular belief, chickens are actually pretty amazing creatures. As self appointed President of the newly formed CLM ( Chicken Liberal Movement ), my first responsibility would be to educate the young minds of today's generation and prove once and for all...that chickens...are actually pretty brave and bold creatures.

Facts you didn't know about chickens (and why YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH ) :

A mother hen turns her egg approximately 50 times in a day. This is to avoid the yolk sticking to the shell. ( A chicken is smart enough to know that....and you don't. YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH. )
A chicken is 75% water. ( Chickens are so smart in fact, that they drink lots of water so they don't fall sick. They only get the flu...and when they spread it to humans, humans die. You can't do that. YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH. )
Hens will produce larger eggs as they grow older. ( Do you produce larger eggs as you grow older? No you don't. YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH )
On average a hen lays 300 eggs a year. ( Movie producers thought this fact was so cool they decided to make the movie ' 300 '. Has any movie been made about you that includes war and half naked men wearing capes with glistening rock hard abs? No there hasn't. YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH. )
The closest living relative of the T-Rex is the chicken, after recent analysis of the T-Rex collagen makeup revealed that it is almost identical to that of the modern chicken. ( The initials for T-Rex is TR. My name is Tat Ren, my initials are TR. I am related to the T-Rex. You are not. YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH. )
Kentucky Fried Chicken tastes awesome. ( Are you Kentucky fried? YOU ARE NOT COOL ENOUGH. )

As you can see, chickens are cooler than you. So, the next time a bunch of morons you call friends dare you to do something similar to the acts performed in the following video....;

....you can use the following example to reply them and show that you are in fact the only one with a brain :

Moron 1 : " Eh eh Eh try la try la!!! Just try and jump out of the car la!!! Don't be chicken la!!! We moving at 80 km/h onlyyy!!! "

Moron 2 : " Eh eh Eh try la try la!!! Cmonnn!!! Don't be chicken laaa!!! "

You : " Did you just call me a chicken? How dare you...how dare you associate my ability to judge the situation and rationalize a well informed decision on my very own wellbeing, with an animal that you think accurately represents my refusal to cooperate with what should be deemed as ignorance and lack of judgment on your part to consider the consequences of performing such an act, all the while being oblivious to the fact that the basis of your use of the chicken as such a reference is largely due to your lack of information and propagation of today's media. I blame you for the erosion of society's fundamental values in the current day. I blame you. So go play with yourself..."

HOPE COMES BEFORE THE EXAMS...

2008-06-21T01:43:00.001+09:30

Ok its midnight now at 12.34 in the morning and I have my Accounting for Decision Makers paper to sit for in about 13 hours time. And something phenomenal has just occurred. Something that may appear to be a glimmer of hope for a foolproof way to cheat in tomorrow's exams. I have no idea what to call that "something"...so I shall just call it..." SOME INTERSTELLAR COMMUNICATION/PARALLEL UNIVERSE BING BING JOOJOO "...

It all started with me, being lazy like I always am. Felt so lazy in fact, that I decided not to study and instead have a conversation with Jamie about psychology and that Sigmund Freud guy, who is by the way, known as the " Father " of psychology. Well he came up with this theory called the Oedipus Complex, which is about how little children can sometimes fall in love with their own mother, and feel like murdering their own father. Anyway, I said that I never had those kind of notions in my mind before, BUT...I remember I used to be so in love with Pink Ranger a.k.a Kimberly from Mighty Morphing Power Rangers when I was a kid that I always wanted White Ranger a.k.a Tommy Oliver to die because he was in the way of my love.
Well, after that delightful moment of reminiscing about the GLORY and AWESOME-NESS that is Power Rangers and Thunder Megazord, I decided to watch an episode on Youtube. The following is the video that I watched....instead of studying....

Anyway, what happened next was simply bizarre I tell you. SOME INTERSTELLAR COMMUNICATION/PARALLEL UNIVERSE BING BING JOOJOO happened between me and Leon Chew Jien Hoong. This might be the key to our cheating in the exams tomorrow WOOHOO!!! Just look at our conversation on MSN MESSENGER :
WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT???!!!
Thats like the Malaysian Parliament actually debating about something that makes sense!!!
Thats like witnessing Malaysians actually cross the road at the zebra crossing!!!
Thats like George Bush saying..." Yeah honestly, it was all about the oil hehehe...you got me! "
Thats like having splashback-free dumps for 3 weeks in a row!!!
Do you have any idea what this means???!!!! Tomorrow...we might be able to make SOME INTERSTELLAR COMMUNICATION/PARALLEL UNIVERSE BING BING JOOJOO happen again and actually communicate during our exams...WITH OUR THOUGHTS!!! I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow then. Oh gosh please let it work.

I AM NOT ALONE....

2008-06-16T00:27:00.003+09:30

I have just discovered the wonders of http://www.urbandictionary.com. Seriously, I am not alone.

The other day, I was on the toilet seat, thinking, pondering and reflecting on life like I always do. And while I usually get epiphanies like I'm sure every other normal person does whenever we're on the toilet seat, I discovered a new word that I think should be added in the English dictionary. It was the word...." Splashback "....and just before I started writing formal letters to Oxford and Cambridge to see if they would accept my proposal for a new word in the dictionary, I decided to check http://www.urbandictionary.com to see if someone had already beaten me to it...AND SOMEONE DID!!! A LOT OF PEOPLE DID IN FACT!!! Annndddd....they described it EXACTLY as how I thought I would have described it!!! Grrr.....anyway according to http://www.urbandictionary.com, this is the full definition of the word :

SPLASHBACK

A sort of toilet tsunami. Dropping a turd from a height which hits the water, causing a tidal wave up the pan which in turn sploshes the water over your arsecrack.
A phenomenon which defies all known physical laws when, regardless of size, density, height, force and slope, a dump fires bogwater skywards and strikes the victim directly in the asshole or genitals.
Generally occurs only after you've already pissed in it.
Its bad when it happens in your own toilet - Its worse when it happens in a public one.

Sentence Examples:

Oh man, splashback! What the hell? That crap was tiny...
Gary noticed a brown spot on his toes and cursed his splashback.
Kenneth felt uncomfortable because his butt cheeks were wet due to the splashback he received after releasing a dump he held for 3 days.
Lionel's Ipod got spoilt because it got hit by a splashback. It also caused him to feel the inevitable itch in his pants 15 minutes upon exiting the toilet.
Sherman realized he did not need to use the toilet paper because his powerful splashback had already washed his butt crack clean.

See! This proves that I'm not the only person who thinks about challenges in life like these! And even though someone has already beaten me to it by thinking of the word first, I would be the first one to do a study on how to minimize the effects of a splashback. The following are the results of my thesis :

Method 1:
Before seating down on the seat, place toilet paper in a layered fashion on top of the water. This would dampen the impact, causing minimal or no splashbacks with the initial drops.

Disadvantage: After the first few drops, the weight of the dump pushes the toilet paper down into the water again, causing the splashback to reach its optimum height again.

Method 2:
Take a dump in a bag that can be sealed, and then dispose of it however you may want to. This enables NO splashbacks to occur.

Disadvantage: Other than the fact that it is pretty uncomfortable to hold a plastic bag and take a dump in it, it is quite hard to dispose of the bag in a hygienic manner.

Method 3 :
Do this.

Disadvantage : If you opt for this method, I think you sakit mental.

That's all I have for this post. And remember, I don't care. This is my blog, and I get to put whatever I want 0n it ! Besides, splashbacks are something that all of us have to deal with. I'm very sure that this is a topic that can relate to everyone. So now before you take a dump in a public place, remember the splashbacks.

Instead of studying........

2008-06-05T00:46:00.006+09:30

Yes yes I know I know...exams are coming, its time to start studying, bla bla bla...but sometimes when I see too much of this:

or this:

I end up doing things like this:

Seriously, we all need a break from studying sometimes. And so, for the first time on sproogidiboo.blogspot.com, I will be posting a community message for the wellbeing of everybody.
Behold, I present to you,

TAT REN'S LIST OF EXPERIMENTS TO DO INSTEAD OF STUDYING!

Experiment number 1:

Take a bunch of Milo Cereal, and put them in a bowl.

Crush them.

Put the crushed Milo cereal into a cup, and add hot water. See if it becomes real Milo......

Verdict : That doesn't really look like Milo does it....

Experiment number 2:

Take a bunch of Vitamin C, put them on a plate.

Attempt to transform the Vitamin C into Vitamin D.

Verdict : Hmm...I'm not sure...It could really be Vitamin D now.

Experiment number 3:

Take 2 eggs, and place them inside a microwave. Heat them up for 5 minutes.

See if siamese-twin-chicks hatch from the eggs simultaneously.

Verdict : I didn't try it...eggs are pretty expensive here in Australia.

There you have it! Experiments that have never been done in a normal household before. But really, doing this is the only thing that is keeping me sane right now. If I carry on studying without anything to unload my normal thoughts onto I would seriously go crazy...ok fine, crazy-er than I already am...

I also have to thank Sherman Wee Han Shen, for he gave me 3 juggling balls right before I left for Adelaide. And as a result of many, many, many unnecessary study breaks, this is what I am able to do now...

PROOF THAT TIME TRAVEL DOES EXIST...

2008-05-30T00:49:00.009+09:30

Yeah...okay...so...urm...how do I...err...okay...first things first, I did this :
This is what 12-contact-hours-a-week-studying-commerce allows me to do, well 12 contact hours on paper that is. Minus the 2 hours of Information Systems lecture I love so much that I don't even leave the apartment 'cause I'm thinking about it so much, and the X amount of hours of not being able to wake up on time for the early 11 AM classes, I'm eventually left with...well...enough time to think of and do something like this. Anyway, this is what came up:

OH! *gasp* *squeals like a fat kid when he sees cheesecake*...naturally, I clicked on one of the links, and...
...as it turns out, according to the largest oil refinery in Slovakia, a company named " Slovnaft ", the plastic " TATREN TPO 12 76 " is a trademarked and controlled rheology extra high impact resistance thermoplastic polyolefine with exceptional impact properties even at low temperatures. The minute I saw it...I knew...TIME TRAVEL IS POSSIBLE!!!

*squeals like a girl would if she'd won tickets to see Christiano Ronaldo bathing*

Why, you ask? WELL DUH!!! It's so obvious!!! You guys should know that I have always had the ambition to work in some awesome oil refinery in Slovakia and name some concoction of plastic after myself and give it a definition of which half the words didn't exist a century ago and then travel back in time to officially name it and put it on the website so that the 18 year old me would know that time travel is possible!!! LIKE DUH!!!

Ok, you guys may have your doubts, but after wondering about why FUTURE ME would add the " TPO 12 76" in front, I can prove that this really came from FUTURE ME. " TPO 12 76" contains a hidden message that FUTURE ME knows only 18 year old me would be able to decipher, because...well...only our brains can handle this amount and degree of eentellekt. What I am about to explain in the following will prove to all of you that this really was from the FUTURE ME...........

T P O

There are 3 letters in " TPO ".
3 letters = 3 meanings
Time travel POssible
Tell PeOple
Time travel Pasti Orite!

1 2 7 6

1 + 2 + 7 + 6 = 16
1 + 6 = 7
7 = 007
007 = James Bond
James Bond = A movie
I WATCH MOVIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see, this is clearly from the future. I know its hard to comprehend but somehow it happened. I didn't ask for it to happen, I did not want it to happen, but it did happen. Just like how Spiderman got his powers. And with great power, comes great responsibility, as said by his uncle. And I, like that uncle, need to tell all you readers out there who now know time travel has arrived, to handle this knowledge with responsibility. Otherwise, FUTURE ME would be in a lot of trouble. And if that happens, FUTURE ME would make sure all the FUTURE YOUS would come back and scold you.

LETS PLAY ANOTHER GAME....

2008-05-20T00:51:00.005+09:30

Alright, I know I haven't been updating my blog in such a long time now and even if I did they have been really dumb no-brainer posts....so in a bid to win back my once existent group of readers from other more intellectual/emo/lala/lala cam-whoring/lala bad english/politician blogs I have come up with an AWESOME idea....I have started a competition for all my readers!!!

THE WINNER WILL WIN $2000

The rules of the competition are as follows:

You are to spot the differences between the two pictures below. There are 25 differences altogether.
When you have found ALL 25 differences, you are to email a screenshot of the pictures with its differences either circled or marked with an " X " to: spotyour2000dollars@legitimateemailaddress.com, and complete the slogan " I am reading this blog even though I have better things to do with my life because......." in under 2 words.
Entries submitted containing comments about personal opinions on how the model in the pictures looks like will be ineligible to win, unless those comments are along the lines of "awesome", "macho", "essence of man" or "its a horse with a sword on its head, not a unicorn".
Always remember to have fun and play as a team. Unsportsmanlike conduct from any players will result in immediate disqualification.

You are to spot the differences in the following pictures:

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

...ok I have to get back to my assignment now....*sighs*....

MUSIC IN MY FAMILY.........and a mother's day post....

2008-05-17T02:12:00.005+09:30

Me (2006)......

My cousin (2008).....no seriously, the singer in this video really is my cousin.....damn i love my family......

and now for a lovely and sentimental mother's day post, go to my sister's blog cause she already did one here...

WHAT THE....(insert bad word here)......PART 1

2008-04-12T12:54:00.003+09:30

This world is going crazy. No seriously. This world IS going insane.

But first, because I learn all about plagiarism and how we must always clearly quote our sources, I must first say that all of the information on this post were acquired from http://news.com.au.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok so check this out...this man, got married and had some kids. For some reason, the guy split with the wife, and didn't see his daughter for some number of years before reuniting. You think it would be just like any other story where they hugged, probably cried, caught up with each other or something like that.....well I'm not so sure if they really did any of that but what really did happen after FATHER and DAUGHTER got together was.....they had sex.....as "consenting adults".

ANNNDDDD......

They now have a child together. bfjhksbfjhaknfhfxfkajfmsfjm,fjdmfnsdfjsfmjscfsfmcfmummydummytummyrummyskadhsdhf. Ok I know I'm not supposed to judge and keep an open mind bla bla but this is too much for me. I mean I can't really blame the man if his daughter was...Jessica Alba or something....but if you watch the video below, you can see that his daughter is CLEARLY NOT AND NOWHERE NEAR OR EVEN 0.000001% CLOSE to Jessica Alba. But even so, it would still be really disgusting of course. ( I mean the incest part is disgusting, not...you know...DUHHHH)

So in my very normal mind I was trying to see how this family works. Well first of all, since this baby is, in fact, the father's daughter's daughter, that would make her his granddaughter. But then again, that baby is also his child, because its his sperm...so that would also mean that she is his daughter. So that actually means that the mother of the baby, who is the father's daughter, has given birth to her child, who is the daughter/granddaughter of her dad (now her husband), and is now also her SISTER, because she is also the child of her dad, just like her mother/sister.
Wow...I wonder how many kids in the world can say that their mother is also their sister.....and that their granddad is their dad as well. So when this baby grows up, she would introduce her father as her dad to her other friends, and then when they ask who her grandfather is she would point to the same man. And then she would introduce her mother as her mum to them as well, and if they ask who her sister is she would point to the same woman.

Crap I really should be occupying my mind with other things but this really makes my very normal mind go jewrfweuohfnuwyqugdruiycdeauymexihsadsueuhbiduhmeuoid. Oh and there's a PART 2 coming up, but I'm too lazy to blog about it now, so I'll just do it another time then. And here's the news video of the story :

FAT GUYS ROCK

2008-03-19T00:10:00.006+10:30

Ok let me tell you about the drama that unfolded before my very eyes 2 weeks ago....

It was just like any other day in Adelaide when I got out of bed...cold, hungry, and craving for milk. I was supposed to have lunch with Leon(Jien Hoong) and Keangston, and I almost decided to screw it because I had to actually get up at 12.30 pm and meet Keangston in the city...you have to know that I get up at 3 or 4 pm every weekend okay...anyway, it was a good thing I went, because....

...we were having our lunch as usual, minding our own business at the City Cross food court on Rundle, WHEN SUDDENLY.........*boom boom boom boom* (no its not the fat guy yet...) this dark looking skinny guy was running down the escalator pushing everyone in front of him away, obviously causing quite a commotion, and he was holding a plastic bag.....(duh he was shoplifiting)....then behind him was this even skinnier guy chasing him, and then *BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM* (yeah thats the fatty...) this super fat store attendant was running after the shoplifter as well. Here's an illustration to help you get a better picture:
At situation (1):
Thats where the three of us were sitting, when we suddenly saw 3 people running. As you can see, the 'villain' was heading towards the exit.

I said to Keangston : " Aiyo....how is the fatty gonna chase...."

BUT SUDDENLY!!! The ' bad guy ' was running back towards the food court from another direction!!!

I said to Keangston and Leon: " HUHHH?????....."

(we think that it was probably because the security guard was notified and blocked off the exit, because there was suddenly another security guard with a big belly joining the chase after that....)
Then out of nowhere.....*JENG JENG JENG* (Gladiator soundtrack plays)...the fatty was coming back in the other direction! You see, instead of chasing the shoplifter one whole round, he decided to turn around and go the other way and take him HEAD ON WITH MANLINESS SPILLING OUT OF HIS NOSTRILS....and the poor shoplifter was heading right towards him...now I don't care how tough you think you are or how many tattoos and piercings you've got, but if you're trying to run past a 500 pound man who is already blocking half your pathway just by standing there, I don't think you've got a chance dude.........THEN SLAM!!! Next thing we know, the shoplifter is underneath this giant rock, and that rock...is the fatty....and that fatty.....is the hero of the day!!!! ( Armageddon soundtrack plays)

At situation (2):
Now the 3 of us, seeing that the guy has already been caught, has no gun, and probably broke his ribs because of the awesome fatty, decided that it was safe to go nearer...and proceeded to buy a dunno-what-flavoured yoghurt just so we could get nearer to the crime scene, and hopefully take a picture. This allowed us to get seated at position (2) so that we can adore and give all glory to the ' FATRO ' (fat-hero). I decided to call him that.

Now, I don't have to watch silly shows like Spiderman or Superman Returns to know what a superhero is supposed to be like. I have seen one. I have seen the Fatro. Oh how I wish he would take me away and fly me to his secret lair away from all the evil in the world. Fatro....if you're out there...and you're reading this....you are ONE AWESOME FAT GUY!!! If you were the mascot for McDonalds instead of that scary clown I would eat McDonalds all the days of my life...thank you Fatro...for making me feel so secure now...I know no matter what you'll be there to rescue me :)

Oh and by the way, we did manage to get a picture haha!
Note: This picture is courtesy of Keangston Sam Sam Alakazam, the best handphone photographer ever. Thanks to him we managed to capture this once in a lifetime drama, without which this post would probably never exist. Keangston is truly godsent.

As you can see from the picture, there is no sign of the Fatro. He had already flown away. No one takes a picture of the Fatro and lives, no one...

I WANT KIDS.........LIKE THESE.......

2008-03-10T03:50:00.002+10:30

ONE THING...

2008-03-03T23:36:00.004+10:30

Well I think its about time I updated my blog, and looking back at my previous posts I realized I haven't actually given any appreciation to some of the things (not people, but ' things ') that have kept me going throughout this whole month in a foreign land with new cultures, people, and disgraceful Chinese food to explore. There's this one thing in particular, I think I really need to be thankful for.

This one thing that would never change, no matter where I go.

This one thing that I spend so much time with every single day.

This one thing that accepts me for who I am, and never judges me.(in terms of size)

This one thing that refreshes and cleanses me.

This one thing that patiently waits for me, when times are difficult.

This one thing that knows my deepest and darkest secrets.

This one thing that keeps me accountable for my nutrition.

This one thing that allows me to just LET GO after a stressful day.

This one thing that makes me forget about the existence of time.

This one thing that hears the sound and grumble of my innermost being.

This one thing...is...

...MY THRONE...
It is a place of mixed emotions. It is a place where I can feel so miserable, like a baby wants to come out my butt and then just 5 seconds later be the happiest guy in the world. It is a place of critical thinking...that Rubik's Cube you see there, has been scrambled and unscrambled many times in this wonderful place. It is also a place of skill and dexterity...well let me just say it ain't easy balancing a hot laptop on your lap while navigating your mouse pointer through the touchpad, and you also need to be on constant alert that the bomb you just released might cause too big a splash effect that it might hit the laptop. It is an AWESOME PLACE. Thank you, toilet of Apartment 62, 210 Grote Street, Adelaide, 5000, South Australia. YOU ARE A DELIGHT!

LETS PLAY A GAME...

2008-02-21T03:00:00.005+10:30

Well it's 3 am now and I'm bored out of my mind...everybody in the apartment is sleeping and I just suddenly have that strong urge to update my blog, after all it's been quite a while since my last post...

Soooooo.......since I'm so bored and I have lots of time, I shall play a game with myself! Hmm.....let's call this game.........errrr........ " The Creative Game "

The rules of the game are : Take something, and make it...something else???

Balls:

Balls of Fury:

Curtain:

Iron Curtain:

Switch:

Switchfoot:

Tap:

Tap Dancer:

Long pants:

Short pants:

Ok I think I should stop now before you think I've really gone crazy...but seriously, these thoughts just came into my normal mind and I just felt like blogging about it...and this is MY blog remember, I can put WHATEVER I want on it haha!

NOSE!!!

2008-02-11T23:33:00.001+10:30

Ok I just read this article from http://news.com.au, it was entitled....

" BIG NOSES ARE SO HOT RIGHT NOW "

Well naturally, I had to blog about it, you can read the full article here. And here are some of the things that were mentioned in the article:

" A nose can tell the experts all sorts of things about your personality. To those experts who know about such things – physiognomists – what you are is as plain as the nose on your face.
The perfect nose is deemed to be one third the length of the face, with an equal distance above and below. The width at the nostrils should be no more than the space between the eyes. "

Haha! And I don't think it's one of those pranks where they want you to put your hand to your face so they can slap it, I think they're actually serious about this...if not why write a whole article on it? And then as I read on I was wondering where on earth did all this come from? How would something like this even become a topic in the first place? AND THEN IT ALL MADE SENSE TO ME WITH THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE :

"Physiognomy is the ancient art of face-reading, thought to have originated in China more than 2000 years ago. They call it Siang Mien."

Leave it to the chinese to come up with stuff like this man! History did not matter to us, when Christopher Columbus found America, when Jesus walked the earth, when Buddha sat under the tree, the chinese didn't care, our ancestors were busy studying noses! WOO!
Anyway, there are characteristics of the nose mentioned in the article which they say can tell alot about someone, here they are along with my opinions on them:

So if you have a:

Fat nose: You are optimistic and are usually good in business.
My view: Good for business in the toilet, even if you are constipated, you're optimistic it will come out in the end.

Long and broad nose: You have lots of staying power and concentration.
My view: No shit is too big for your ass. By hook or by crook, IT WILL COME OUT.

Broad nose: You have stability and a purposeful nature, and a powerful sex drive.
My view: You have stable and good eating habits thus causing your shit to be well formed and delightfully shaped. You get frequent erections even while you're shitting.

Long nose: Routine work is not your speciality.
My view: You have to sit at different positions on the toilet bowl everyday.

Bulbous tip: You have a preoccupation with saving.
My view: You prefer to stock up on shit and only let loose once every 3 days to save time.

Flared nostrils: You are a big spender and an adventurous risk-taker.
My view: You buy lots of dirty food, just so you can see how watery your shit can become and how loud it comes out your ass.

Ski-jump nose: You are intuitive.
My view: HAHAHAHAHHAHA! SKI-JUMP???!!!! what the....your shit can ski????......

And speaking of noses, I found this picture on the internet which i thought was pretty amusing...

(http://photos.case.edu/photo/753.jpg)

RUNNING NOSE!!! GET IT???!!!! HAHAHAHAHA...anyway yeah....another random post from my very normal mind...

Of Seashell Covered Toilet Rolls and Dogs...

2008-02-08T18:05:00.000+10:30

Ok I've been doing some grocery shopping lately, like getting a laundry bag, detergents and stuff, so I'm all set for my life as an international student woohoo!...then I took a close look at my toilet roll...THERE ARE SEASHELLS ON IT! HAHA! Okay I don't care 'bout what you think, but I think it's cool okay! So now when I shit, I get reminded of how beautiful and calm the beach is! Well it MIGHT ease the process, who knows...another thing which I thought was kind of amusing and just couldn't stop thinking about was this...Yup its just the back of the toilet roll package, has the brand name on it, has some sentences about how fulfilling my life would be after I get this brand of toilet rolls BUUUTTTTT.......can someone, please explain to me what on earth a dog is doing there...ok first and foremost I can't see the connection between the dog and the toilet roll (not like I could see it with the seashells), is it supposed to look like the toilet roll? Is that dog's breed a golden retriever-of-shit? I don't know I just don't understand why the dog is there...and you know what puzzles me...? Why on earth can't they FREAKIN choose a CUTER DOG??!!! Heck that dog doesn't even look happy! Have you seen the dogs on those dog food commercials like Pedigree and all, the dogs there look so happy and well fed, well this one certainly doesn't! I guess it can't eat the toilet paper, or it probably got rejected by all the dog food companies that it was forced to take this picture reluctantly, but hey, everybody starts somewhere right? I just wish that dog all the best in his future career...

This was quite a random post I know but this is MY blog and I get to put WHATEVER I want on it okay!!! Haha so I'm going to catch Miss Saigon the musical now so I'll just leave this post at that...see Adelaide is not that bad after all! Maroon 5, Matchbox 20, Velvet Revolver and Michael Buble are all coming too so SUCK ON THAT you people in Malaysia! Muahahaha....Nah I still miss Malaysia a whole lot especially eating and hanging out at mamak's till like 5 in the morning, last night I had to defrost and heat up a beef and onion pie from the freezer alone :(

Chinese New Year in Adelaide...

2008-02-07T01:22:00.000+10:30

Well I just got back from a Chinese New Year eve dinner at Chinatown...soooo HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! Yes the people here do celebrate chinese new year, heck, there are more than 1 billion of us in the world so obviously some would eventually end up in Adelaide duhh...well apart from the fact that there are no chinese new year music here, thank GOD...(hey you know what I mean, those DONG DONG DONG CHIANG! DONG DONG DONG CHIANG! GONG XI NI! SA LA MI! You know what I mean right...the kind that gives you sore ears and a headache)...there are still other stuff that differs the Chinese New Year celebration here, and the celebration back home in Malaysia.

Ok first of all, even at 7.25 pm its still as bright as it was at 12pm...it only starts to get dark after 8pm...Also, the lion dances here get alot of attention...from the whites......look at how happy they are...not knowing that back in Malaysia we frequently host the World Lion Dance Competition, and seeing how they react to this, I think they would actually get an orgasm watching the lion dance competition back in Malaysia...

AND.......GET A LOAD OF THIS!ITS A WHITE GUY, IN A CHINESE LION DANCE TROUPE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........look at all the chinese guys behind him standing around with their arms folded thinking they're cool and then STOP! There's a white guy!!! HAHAHA....and whats worse, they made him wear something totally apart from the others! Okay c'mon...I think we can tell from the colour of his skin and how 'not-flat' his nose is that he's obviously not a chinese, but you don't have to make him wear something totally different Mr.Head-of-lion-dance-man! I can totally imagine the dialogue between the white guy and the
Mr.Head-of-lion-dance on the first day they met :

white guy : Hey you think I'd be able to join in as a drummer?
chinese : Yew wan pleh dram?...I gib yew now tis chopstik...pleh on tis table...pleh la pleh...I si yew gud eenap or not...
*tik tik tik tok toktok tiktik toktok PLAK bumbumbumbumbumbum* (does extremely well)
chinese : Wahh...I si yew ken duit...oukay oukay yew pleh foh me...butt maybe yew still nid practice...I tell yew wat, I dun gib yew salaly(salary), I gib yew ang pao owhkay! Toomohloh kam bak plis...ten Q...

So yeah...don't think you'll fine any white dudes playing the drums for any lion dances in Malaysia right, don't get me wrong, I may laugh about it, but I actually think its good that our two cultures are actually mixing with each other now, HOWEVER...I can't help but wonder why on earth a white guy would wanna join a lion dance troupe though...

I mean think about it, would you rather be a white guy (has a toilet with a door, proper plumbing system at home, does not eat every animal thats smaller than him) joining a chinese lion dance troupe, or a chinese guy, joining a hip hop dance group like in " You Got Served " ?????

Which of these two would you rather be a part of...Pretty obvious ain't it...well whoever that white guy is, I'm sure he's a nice guy who just wants to understand the chinese a little better and add some spice to my Chinese New Year celebration here.

Well thats how it is here in Adelaide. Hope you guys are having fun back in Malaysia, so until then...see you at my next random thought!...

WHY BLOG?

2008-02-06T01:40:00.000+10:30

Ok first of all, I think I should explain the address. Well all the names I wanted and thought would look good after a ' http:// ' have all already been taken, so there you go! HAH! IN YOUR FACE STUPID ' CHECK AVAILABILITY ' BUTTON!

Sooooo...I think everyone should know why I finally decided to start a freakin blog. Here's a list of reasons:

I have just arrived in Adelaide, the BEST and COOLEST state in Australia with totally hip and fun stuff to do ALL THE TIME. ( If you actually didn't think I was sarcastic, please do not eat a bicycle...you can't.)
I've been here for 4 days already and there's nothing on my laptop, because life decided I was special and proceeded to spoil my external hard disk 1 hour before I left on the plane.
I have scrambled and unscrambled the Rubik's cube 64327891648736498 times since my arrival.
I actually ironed some of my clothes for pleasure.
I now have time to make my bed, and even do a pretty good job at it.
I come out of my room sometimes to change the position of this ball to another position, just for fun....and the ball isn't even mine.
I went to tidy up my table just to prove a point on this blog.
Because Donald Trump says so in his book. (ok obviously he did not say that, but i just wanted to write that in for fun...'cause I have the time)

There it is then. I can still give you more reasons on why I decided to start a blog but I think it was mainly because the process of starting one requires something which I seem to be having alot of recently...thats right...TIME.

Annddddd......since I have been having alot of TIME.....time to think, time to eat, time to walk, time to use so many tissues to wipe my butt clean after I poop-ed that I flushed the toilet twice, I have decided to come up with another list!...Of reasons on why I think...no no...wait...lie to myself that Adelaide is the place for me! Here's a list of reasons why Adelaide rocks my socks:

- Adelaide is the home to (googled it of course):

The largest fresh produce market in the Southern Hemisphere and the longest running in Australia.
The closest and most accessible beaches of an Australian Capital City.
The largest display of Aboriginal culture and artifacts in the South Australian Museum and Tandanya (National Aboriginal Cultural Institute).
More restaurants per head of population in Australia.
The only Migration Museum in Australia.

Sooooo.....if you're a fish swimming in the deep ocean and love Aboriginal people for all their glory, come over then to our most accessible beaches! You might get lucky and meet a nice fisherman, who might lead you to fame and glory by displaying you in the largest fresh produce market in the Southern Hemisphere! Not only that, you also stand the chance of ending up on the plate of an Indonesian born Japanese who comes from Russian and Portuguese parents, as Adelaide loves immigrants so much they made a museum for them...ALSO...you are nearly guaranteed a place in one of the many restaurants in Adelaide, as restaurants outnumber the total population of 1.47 million, which means people will actually pay, to have you!See how cool Adelaide is! Seeing that I am...urm...somewhat like an Aboriginal-people-loving fish, Adelaide is the PLACE FOR ME!!!!! AND I AM HAPPY!!!! YES I AM!!!! Don't you dare say I'm not...shut up...I am happppyyyyyy!!!!!! Go Adelaide!!!!

Ok this post is getting quite long already and my hands are tired, I shall leave my other random thoughts for my next post. Adelaide BOLEH!